My Thigh Gap 

I’m not hip to most things, nor do I want to be. I think it is fairly comical to see a parent trying to stay trendy and blend in with their teenagers. That is a losing proposition. No, I’m the old fart who doesn’t get it, and is relatively unconcerned about the “it” I don’t get. My favorite sayings are quickly becoming:

“Get a haircut, hippie!”

“Take a bath!”

“Who let them out of the house in their underwear, put some clothes on!”

“Get off my lawn!”

I’ve tried to understand the world around me but it is a hopeless endeavor. Things move too fast and I’ve gotten slower.

I was privy to some young mens’ water cooler discussion lately and perked up because they were talking about the NBA draft. I’m not a huge basketball fan anymore. But just like my city, if the Hawks get good, I’ll pay attention. I didn’t know most of the players the guys mentioned and they seemed generally dissatisfied with the results. Since I couldn’t really participate, I started to leave when the conversation turned to something called a “thigh gap”. I’ve never heard of such a thing. My interest was piqued. What is this thigh gap, you ask? Evidently, this is a new standard measurement of attractiveness. Read More

The War on Superfluous Hair

Living in a house full of women, it was inevitable that some level of concern about personal grooming would be forced on me. It just took a while. I am the odd man out of glamour discussions – the thorn among roses. I wouldn’t say beast because that implies hairy and I’ve never been a hairy bloke… until lately.

All of the sudden, I am finding hair in the oddest places. While my scalp might be shedding it, my ears and nose seem to be growing it at an alarming rate.

It must be the cartilage – that stuff acts like a weird hair magnet. Read More