Shaking Hands with your Urologist

My first experience with Dr. P was a week after we discovered our surprise forth pregnancy. I found myself seated uncomfortably on the metal table being interrogated by a very contemplative man half my height, but with an IQ obviously twice mine. He spoke with a fairly thick accent and seemed dubious of my procedure of choice.

Dr. P, “Missa Myers, you seem very young. How old are you?”

Me, “I’m thirty-four.”

Dr. P, “How old your wife?”

Me, “She’s thirty-three.”

Dr. P, “Oh, that very young. You sure you want this?”

Me, “Yes Doctor, I’m sure.”

Dr. P, “You know, this permanent. You might want reversal, but it maybe not work.”

Me, “I know. I’m sure.”

Dr. P, “Your wife sure? She know?”

Me, “Yes, she knows.”

Dr. P, “Okay, you sure. Just one more time I ask, because you maybe not go back?”

Me, “Dr. P, we just found out we were pregnant with our fourth child.”

Momentary pause for contemplation.

Dr. P, “Oh. In that case, why you not come see me sooner?”

He checked a box on his form and left. The procedure came a few weeks later. I’ll mention no specifics except to say that once I was prepped and ready, the quiet, secluded corner room seemed to turn into Grand Central Station. Nurses, accountants, inspectors, magazine vendors, interns, dog walkers, board certifiers, and I think a few pharmaceutical sales reps all of the sudden had important business in my room. Finally the good doctor came and did his work. I left hoping to never see Dr. P again. No offense, but I thought seeing him again meant a fifth bundle of joy. I was wrong.

My second trip to see him came after experiencing some discomfort during a long run. Until then, I had no idea that Urologists did everything! When I went back to the very same room, there sat my friend, Dr. P. who remembered me distinctly.

“How your baby?” Dr. P asked.

Me, “She’s doing great. Six years old now.”

Dr. P, “How old are you?”

Me, “I just turned forty.”

Dr. P, “You know, Missa Myers, we start thinking about prostate health at this age…”

 

I’ll leave the rest to the imagination. Based on my experience with Dr. P, I have some advice for men.

First, when your Urologist asks you your age, consider carefully the ramifications of the question.

Second, when you are greeted by your friendly Urologist, remember that his hands have been places that my dog’s nose only dreams about.

 

A_handshake

 

I poke fun at my interaction with Dr. P, but men’s health issues are not a laughing matter. Fortunately, I only had a couple of kidney stones that were easily blasted out. Get checked when it is time to get checked, men. Others are counting on you!

 

Advertisements

26 thoughts on “Shaking Hands with your Urologist

  1. Mwahhhaaahhaaahhaaaa! (a word I learned from my daughter – expressing great joy and uncontrollable laughter). Brilliant is the word I would usually use!!

  2. “Dr. P, ‘Oh. In that case, why you not come see me sooner?'”

    The best advice I ever heard was, “Never let the kids out-number the parents.” Keep in mind, I have ten siblings. People ask me, “How did your mother handle all those kids?” I tell them, “after her third (me) she moved up to management.”

      1. No, it’s eleven kids, counting me. We were the slackers. My grandmother had twelve kids and everyone of her kids, averaged twelve. If we lived in Italy during the Middle Ages, our family would be a national power.

  3. I was laughing from the start. You brought back a few of my own memories. The why-didn’t-you-come-sooner remark is hilarious. My last issue at Urology was handled by a woman! I was like, really? My only prostate exam was unexpected, done for a job physical. I looked like a deer in headlights. Well it could’ve been performed by a woman, too, like a buddy’s was, so I’m okay. Another good one, Mark!

    1. Thanks Mike. I have had a physical from a female dr. It is quite strange, I agree. My wife told me to suck it up and shut up… She’s been dealing with the awkward dr. visits for a while.

  4. I’m sorry to say that I can’t really relate, but this post sure did put a smile on my face. I really need my hubby to go and visit a “Mr. P.”
    Thanks for the smile Mark.
    🙂

  5. That was cool! Thanks Mark for stopping by at gravity of grace and the follow. I count it as a great honor to connect with you, changing lives one person at a time. Have a unique and graceful day
    McDaniels
    wwww.graceology.org

  6. Speaking from experience, being a wife of someone with BPH, it is a GIANORMOUS message you give to men! We started early with this problem. But at the time, I had never heard have a test. Most men do not know, so wherever you guys that know happen to be, remind them all to get checked. I don’t care if you are at Church, a visit, the neighborhood party, or a cocktail party ~ it is imperative that MEN be EDUCATED! Someone’s life may depend on it!!!

Join the Conversation

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s