When our children were younger, I used to love taking them in the truck with me to run errands. With so many kids, the trips were a necessity and provided rare one-on-one time with whichever child agreed to go. I loved it right up until one unfortunate ride with my youngest. Here is text from that fateful trip.
Dad, drivers have all kinds of signs don’t they?
Yes, there are road signs to tell us when to stop and how fast to go.
No, that’s not what I mean. I mean drivers have signs they give…with their hands.
Sure, they wave to each other after one lets the other in front of them. That’s a kind thing to do.
Yes, but what does this mean? (giving me the perfect one finger salute)
Where did you see that? (Spoken calmly so she wouldn’t adopt this as a favorite gesture)
That man over there did it. Did you let him in front of you?
No, that means I must have done something wrong and he was telling me about it.
What did you do?
I don’t know, maybe I cut him off or he thought I drove too close to him.
Do you use that sign?
No, honey, I don’t use that sign.
Does Mommy?
No, Mommy doesn’t use that sign.
What if Mommy does something wrong, would you do that to show her? (Once again, saluting me in the mirror)
No, we would never use that sign to Mommy. It isn’t a nice sign.
Oh. So we shouldn’t use that sign?
No, we shouldn’t use that sign. (she examines her finger wonderingly)
How about we listen to the radio?
Okay! I like the radio.
(I fumble through the dial and settle on a station where the song quickly yields to a woman’s voice)
Women, do you suffer from low libido… (frantic push of the search button)
Daddy, what’s a libido?
Um, I think it’s an animal found in darkest Peru.
Like Paddington?
Exactly.
I’ve never heard of it in his books.
Maybe we haven’t gotten to that one yet.
Why is it low?
I don’t know, Sweety (how is this kid hearing every stinking thing? New station)
Men, listen to me. erectile disfunction is a serious problem… (FRANTIC PUSH as I fall victim to a conspiracy of the evil gods of radio)
Daddy…
…Er…How would you like to go to McDonalds for a chocolate milkshake?
YAY!!!! McDonalds!!!!
But it’s almost lunchtime. Will it be okay with Mommy?
Baby, if all Mommy hears about from this trip is the milkshake, I’m in great shape.
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A Generous Helping 
Oh this was too adorable! Aren’t little ones adorable? Hmmmmm Paddington Bear and Libido come from darkest Peru…who knew! lol
They are adorable except how they pay complete attention to everything! I have no idea where the Paddington explanation came from, but she will always smile about it when she reads the books to her children.
Ughhhhhhhh!!!! I am right there with you Mark! Lol. Milkshakes are always the solution!!!
Milkshakes are like a big eraser. They make everything better.
I love that line. 👍
Reblogged this on raven newcastle.
Kids really ask the most important questions:)
And hear everything!
H I L A R I O U S! Gotta love the innocence of young children. Great post.
=)
Thank you! They are precious.
I lived this moment a few times. I am getting close to a repeat with grandchildren. Nothing like a child’s mind to lighten the day.
They keep us on our toes! That’s for sure.
Distraction is the easiest escape when cornered. Way to go dad!
Ice Cream is a miracle cure.
So sweet kid …and an intelligent dad! Kiddos always ask so many questions so cutely….I love it! And some sweet things like ice creams and milk shakes only distract them!
I loved your post!
Thanks. Things go a lot smoother with the 4th. The first is kind of a crack test dummy and you learn how to react to the later ones.
Hahahahaha, Loved this. Ya gotta love the young ones.
Jen
They keep us on our toes, that’s for sure!