A Chin and a Pair of Floppy Boobs

Today is the 83rd of March and if I see the word “unpr4c4d4nt4d” one more time I might scream.

I’ve seen so many reactions to being quarantined and I’ve had my own. This isn’t meant to be a political post, I don’t know what’s right. For now, my family is still sheltering at home although our state is starting to open up. There’s a tension in this. Naturally, I want to be right, but I also want this to be over. My gut (and most of science) tells me it’s too early, but I definitely don’t want more people to get sick or die. So in the end, I suppose I hope I’m overreacting and our fortunes have changed.

What has the virus taken from you? Peace, joy, patience, contentment, rest? I see so many dwelling on the things that this situation has forcibly removed, and few are entertaining silver linings.

If you’ve lost a loved one, this does not pertain to you. I am horribly sorry. Please stop reading now and I hope you don’t take offense.

If you’ve lost a business or are wondering how you’ll make ends meet, again – I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m looking at something different than economy and realize not all of our circumstances are the same.

Maybe it is my perspective as a father who has lost a child, but since this quarantine began, I have looked for silver linings. Our children are nearly ready to leave the nest and I’ve gotten to spend two uninterrupted months with them. Yes, at times it has been too much. But certainly more than I expected. Silver lining.

Kylie would have loved quarantine. She loved nothing more than being at home with her sisters. She would be a senior in high school this year and would have missed prom and graduation like the rest. But somehow I don’t think that would have fazed her. They are passing events that quickly fade to memory. In years to come, this class of 2020 will wear it as a badge of honor as they go on with their lives – an opportunity my senior will never have.

My other senior is graduating college. She received her cap and gown in the mail the other day. There will be no ceremony, no pomp and circumstance. She will have a degree with honors and enter the worst job market in decades. The loss of opportunity, now that’s something to be disappointed about. Still, I find her to be bored but content.

And me? I’ve decided to give instead of let anything be taken.

I have given entertainment that I typically don’t have time for. I have read 17 novels since we sheltered in place – some good, some bad. But I’ve enjoyed the time. I’ve binge-watched Westworld with my oldest two and Downtown Abbey with my wife.

I have given education – influencing young minds by starring in Shakespeare with Dad (see below) and Pirates with Pop, where we brought the writings of Shakespeare and Stevenson to life for my eldest daughter’s 7thgrade literature class. She said we were going to publish them online for the world to see, but I think she’s lying because I’m not famous yet.

The other thing I’ve given to coronavirus is a chin and a pair floppy manboobs. I definitely gained a few winter pounds. My 19-year-old and I always run on Sundays. But on the second day of quarantine, we decided to run 3 miles every day.IMG_1897

During the initial run, I noticed excessive jiggling. It was a little embarrassing and I tried to flex to keep it down. I nearly tripped because it’s hard to flex your chest while ambling forward. Also, the days when I could intentionally bounce my pecs are gone. They only bounce  of their own accord now. Or did. After a few weeks and pounds, they stopped bouncing. After two months and fifteen pounds, one of the double chins I’ve been growing was gone too. Pretty soon I might toss in a love handle or two!

I’m not making light of the situation. I realize that it truly is devastating for some. But many of the rest of us are focused on the wrong things – out looking for things being taken and not focused on what we can shed.

What can you throw at the Coronavirus that will make you better than you started?


6 thoughts on “A Chin and a Pair of Floppy Boobs

  1. Ahh my phone won’t let me like but it will let me comment. Dumb phone. & Lol now it knows it has failed me because when I type in “dumb” it automatically offers “phone” & in a way. I feel this strange guilt. That it knows I am not pleased.😏 Anyway, maybe it’s a good thing so I can tell you that I forwarded your post to my kids in Messenger saying “This is from one of my writer friends who makes me want to be better.”❤️

  2. “unpr4c4d4nt4d”

    I used to see that word all the time…usually after waking up during the third hour of a four hour meeting to find that repeated on my laptop screen and the impression of a keyboard across my forehead.

    In Almost Iowa, little has changed. Farmers are still farming. Scooter and I are still walking the seven miles around the block but yes, everyone is packing on a few extra pounds.

  3. you were born to entertain. i’ve been entertaining 2 classes of 3-5 year olds, on zoom meetings, with videos, and fun and hopefully somewhat engaging activities/lessons/play ideas at home. my ego is gone and i just have fun. the tech is an unrelenting monster, but i’m somehow bumbling my way through. when i’m not doing that, i’m taking one or two long walks every day, no matter the weather and starting to play in my garden dirt. i’ve been reading, writing, binge and movie watching, jigsaws, crosswords, etc. i see one daughter and the grands who live a street away at a safe distance and try to distance visit the others when possible. i am liking the simpler life, the slower pace, and letting a lot of unimportant things fall by the wayside. loved your post, put a smile on my face, and one more thing i’m grateful for.

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