Playing with Fire

January 14, 2015.Reading time 4 minutes.

I like all kinds of foods. In fact, I have often said, “I’ll try anything once.” People have challenged me on it and that statement has come back to bite me more than once. Still, I like to sample new things.

But the body changes as we age…

There are still repercussions of the garlic allergy of 2006-2012. Even though it seems to have passed, I am banned from several Italian joints around here.

Now something new seems disagreeable. Something dear to me.

I love authentic Chinese food. Yes, I have tried some odd stuff and I enjoy the regular fare as well. I know it is Americanized, but I really like a certain chain represented by an endangered bear… a black and white one that eats bamboo. Recently due to some changes, the friendship between myself and this species of Chinese food has become somewhat strained. I don’t know if there has been an ingredient change by them or a new gastric change by me.

We are eating out more these days since my wife and little one are gone for treatment during the week. This chain is a favorite in the family and I am always one to flaunt my impressive chop stickery, so we went there a few weeks ago. I enjoyed the meal but the night was… shall we say, restless.

A quick check of the other diners confirmed that I was the sole recipient of bad food. I ran through my dinner and vowed not to eat shellfish at fast food anymore. That would be the most likely suspect.

A week later, we returned to said restaurant where I carefully ordered a different entrée only to experience similar issues. This is precisely the place where the problem started. Most people would examine the facts and easily determine that the best course of action would be avoidance. Experiences such as these have caused me to go down perilous paths all my life. I’m like a beagle trying to stay on an unscented path, it just won’t work. Rather than draw a line in the sand and distance myself from this place, I became intrigued and decided to conduct a very personal science experiment. I won’t be posting the results on green foam-core board and standing nearby while judges inspect my findings.

No, the judges are my family and they are insufferably critical. Since I have yet to tell them the root cause of my discomfort, they don’t know to bar the door to the restaurant. When it is suggested, they happily acquiesce and bounce to the car like little, happy lambs to the slaughter.

They will figure it out soon enough, of that I am sure. Anyone who knows us knows that I am by far the densest of the family. I can’t keep my secret for long. No, one of these mornings they will sit around the breakfast table discussing the odorous interruptions of the night, pin me down as the perp, and build a chronology of events that leads right to the monochromatic bear.

Until then…

“Anyone for Chinese?” (Insert maniacal laugh here)

Photo attribution: Arjit Chowdhury

Focus on Positive

December 31, 2014.Reading time 6 minutes.

When life throws you down a crooked track, hold close your family, latch onto new friends, throw up your hands and find something to smile about.

While 2014 was definitely a crooked track for us, I want to close it with a look to the good. Shortly after our diagnosis, I had a friend reach out to me amidst his own health crisis. My advice to him was, “Hear the negative, focus on the positive and know that God has both covered.”

Good advice? I think so – but much easier said than done. This world screams negative. We are bombarded with the bad. The nightly news covers everything wrong with our world first and longest before they throw in one human interest story just before saying good night. (If you missed Kylie on the news, you can watch it HERE)

While sifting through the ruins of this broken world, how do we see what is good? I have seen a lot of things in my 47 years. To borrow the movie title, I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have driven a man out of the slum of Port ‘au Prince, Haiti and watched as he was given the keys to his new home. I have been fortunate enough to help put a roof on a hut in Swaziland for a family decimated by HIV. Beauty plucked from ugly, good snatched from bad. Both started with a choice to engage.

Despite my experiences, never in my life have I seen the good side of humanity more than from the day Kylie was diagnosed with cancer. The flood of well-wishes, prayers, and support for our family has been as overwhelming as the diagnosis itself. When you hear the words, “Your child has cancer,” the temptation is to curl up in the fetal position, shut out the world and cry. When I was at my weakest, I found an abundance of arms to hold me.

Friends, family, our school and church rallied to our side.

The nurses, doctors, childlife specialists, and staff of the Aflac Cancer Center at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta became dear partners in this journey. We also found great care at Levine Children’s Hospital in Charlotte.

Organizations came alongside to help navigate and let us know we aren’t alone: 1 Million for Anna, Make-A-Wish, Cure Childhood Cancer, The Truth 365, Rally Foundation, Melodic Caring Project, The Jesse Rees Foundation, Along Comes Hope, 3/32 Foundation, Blessed Beauty, Open Hands Overflowing Hearts, Kingdom Kids, Lily’s Run.

We have built a network of people who pray faithfully for Kylie. To be totally honest, I admit there are times when I cannot lift a word to heaven. Maybe a grunt, maybe an angry shake of the fist. Without a doubt, I know there are many people praying for my little girl when I can’t. That is incredibly humbling.

Then there is encouragement and love. Kylie gets cards and letters daily. At least a dozen young ladies have donated their hair in Kylie’s honor. People all across the country and literally around the world have been #SmileyForKylie. As of today, 87 countries have done it. Grown men have written it on their bald heads.

Between Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, we have received over 10,000 smiling selfies for Kylie. Unreal. We have gotten them from celebrities, athletes, and Kylie’s beloved Broadway performers. Idina Menzel made a video. Kristin Chenoweth made two pics and talked about her on a radio show. Laura Osnes posted a word of encouragement to her. She got a box of Broadway treats from Hunter Foster. She had pics from 9 out of 12 musicals nominated for Tony Awards, and the cast of her favorite show, Aladdin, have reached out to her over and over again. Sometimes we can trace the web that led to the picture, but most of the time we have no idea how they happen – we have no line to these people. It’s just good. And it is out there – making a choice to engage with our little girl in a time when she so desperately needs it. A thank you will never be enough, but all I can offer.

Regardless of your view of the Bible, Philippians 4:8 gives us sage advice:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

I’ll not be able to change everyone’s mind. You can remain a cynic if you choose to. But the things I have experienced in 2014 prove to me that there is good in this world. I choose to think about such things – it is what has kept me going.

In 2015, we look forward to hearing the words: No Evidence of Disease and watching Kylie resume a normal life. That will be something worth throwing up our hands and smiling about.

Happy New Year from Portsong, your humble mayor & Kylie