A Simple Coat of Paint

A $30 can of paint is a really a can of infinite possibilities. When you choose a color it can be any of a thousand beautiful options with exotic names that seem to have little relevance to their actual shade. Since our budget has never been huge, I learned early on that you can soothe your wife’s desire for change all for the cost of a gallon or two of paint. Better she change out the wall color than me!

“Old Reliable” – my tired, well-worn brush testifies that I’ve painted every wall in our house at least once. It also decries its hatred of wallpaper.

The walls of hell are covered in wallpaper because it is an invention and tool of Satan, himself. Just behind infidelity, I am sure wallpaper is the number two reason for divorce in our country. Yes, wallpaper is the irreconcilable difference. In our starter home, our master bath had thirteen foot walls so crooked they looked like they were constructed by a crew of drunk chimpanzees. My lovely wife chose wallpaper for it. I blame this on inexperience not maliciousness – but do you know what style she chose? Wide, vertical, stripes! So dopey me gets the supplies and spends days pasting, fuming, and screaming (I’ll not quote myself here). I am surprised I didn’t do permanent damage to myself or my marriage. There came a moment in the struggle to hang a particularly long piece when I made this supplication to God: Read More

The Hidden Underbelly of Bacon

Bacon has enjoyed a resurgence in popularity in recent years. No longer relegated to the breakfast plate, it has reinvented itself as an intricate part of lunch and dinner menus and even made its way into some deserts. For a while, bacon was everywhere. The bacon people started making chocolate-covered bacon, bacon ice cream, bacon jam, bacon vodka, bacon massage oil, and bacon mouthwash – just to name a few! You can even put your money in a bacon wallet and hold your pants up with a bacon belt.

To us average joes who just want a slice or two with their eggs and occasionally on a burger, this run on bacon created quite a problem. The price of bacon skyrocketed.

 

Pork Bellies are up!

pork bellies

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