Category: Humor

I Won’t Do That!

.Reading time 3 minutes.

The season my first daughter was born, Kentucky won the NCAA championship. Two years later, along came daughter number two and, lo and behold, UK hoisted another banner. I joked with my lovely wife at the time that with all of the rich basketball fanatics in my home state, we could surely find a patron who would sponsor future babies if Kentucky kept cutting down nets. Alas, no such luck with numbers three and four.

Kentucky_Wallpaper

You’d have to know my wife, though. She loves babies. She would have started looking for real estate in Lexington had they won with our third. Her baby wanter gets turned on just by the smell of hospital soap. If she gets to hold one, I practically have to pry the child out of her hands. I came home not too long ago and she was holding a baby I had never seen with a contented smile on her face. I looked around…no one else in the house. For the briefest of moments I truly thought she had finally stolen one. (It turned out we were babysitting a teacher’s baby for a night.) Me, I like ’em okay. I liked watching a game with one sleeping on my chest, but they always felt too fragile in my oversized mitts. I preferred the toddler years where we could wrestle and play.

Much to my delight, my beloved Wildcats have made it to the Final Four again this year. I said at the outset of the tourney that I wouldn’t be surprised if they got beat in the first round and I wouldn’t be surprised if they won it all. It’s been just that type of up and down year. I don’t keep up with sports like I used to, but I still watch my Cats when I can.

I’m sorry Cats. I love you and want you to win with all of my heart. But my baby days are behind me. I won’t do that!

(A little Meatloaf just for fun!)

 

Good luck to the Wildcats this weekend. I hope you cut the nets down on Monday. You just have to do it without my progeny this time.

 

♦

Speaking of my progeny, I was set to post this yesterday until we got news related to the health of our youngest. We haven’t gotten an exact diagnosis yet, but have further tests next week. I appreciate the prayers and words of affirmation from my friends here. We’re hanging in there and she has meds now to make her feel better…  

Shutting it Down

.Reading time 2 minutes.

After six months of writing this blog, I have been issued a court order from The State of New Hampshire to cease and desist using the name Portsong. It seems that an official in the city of Portsmouth got hold of my fictional history book in which I poke a little fun at Yankees during Sherman’s march to the sea. The Honorable Thomas Lankin has taken umbrage with my depiction of Union soldiers from his fair city.
image

 

The letter looks official. I haven’t had the chance to get it to a lawyer and quite frankly don’t have the wherewithal to do so. This means a great deal for me, though. I’ve built whatever brand I have around the name Portsong and the characters within. The support I’ve garnered and readership I’ve built will be subject to loss when I rename everything. I find this turn of events quite disheartening.

Until I can sort this all out, I will have to go silent and shut down this blog. Obviously, there are some folks up north who will be happy with this. The Southern boy in me would like to make a Yankee joke about it, but I’m not up to it right now. I find it sad that a little guy in Georgia can’t come up with an idea and build a dream without being prosecuted. Where’s the justice in that?

So, goodbye, friends in my blogging community. Until we meet again, let us hope and pray that some people develop a sense of humor. The world would be a much better place – especially on this, the  first   day    of     April……

 

****Since April 1st is over, I will admit this was a gag. I think a successful one judging by the admissions below.  The best was my sister’s text of concern all the way from California where she was vacationing. Once a little brother, always a little brother.