A Rant from the Pulpit

April 22, 2014.Reading time 4 minutes.

Today, a word from the Reverend Josiah Crane, who has been the preacher of the Goose Creek Country Church in Portsong for as long as anyone can remember. He’s a masterful orator of the Scriptures, but could be described as somewhat distant when it comes to the shepherding side of his calling. In his own way, he cares for the souls of his flock very much.

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Rev._Thomas_Chalmers,_1780_-_1847._Preacher_and_social_reformer_(shown_preaching)

I see you there.

I know you are squirming in your seat and I know why. What I just said hit close to your wandering heart…that is what the bead of sweat on your forehead tells me. A more compassionate man might offer you his handkerchief to mop your brow. But I say, better a little sweat now than hellfire for eternity!

So while you think I am speaking to the back wall, know that both God and I have you in our sights. Neither of us is oblivious to what goes on in these holy pews. For example:

1. I know the children count the number of times I hit the pulpit every week and even play a little game with it. While I don’t condone wagering, I have stacked the odds for a couple of my favorite little lambs over the years.

2. I know precisely what time it is. If you think repeated checks to your wristwatch will give me a subtle hint, understand that it only makes me slow my pace. You’ll get to your precious lunch, even if the Lutherans beat you there.

3. You cannot hide your dozing off – see point one, that’s why I pound the pulpit. When your head bobs up and down, I assume you are agreeing with me, which stokes the fire of my verbosity.

4. I do not believe in alliterations or acrostics like some word game player. I’ve got the Scriptures on my side and I don’t even care for the little numbers that man added.

5. You are absolutely correct – I do, in fact, like to hear myself speak.

6. I will not tell you how old I am or what year I was born! Before you were, I was. No one is going to win that bet. You may as well put the proceeds into the offering basket. I am not older than dirt, but recall firsthand accounts of its creation.

So next time you think you are pulling one over on the old preacher, remember that I have been doing this a long time. Ecclesiastes chapter 1 and verse 9 tells us, “There is no new thing under the sun.” I’ve seen quite a few suns rise and fall. Further, I’ve seen all the tricks.

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I hope the old Preacher will forgive me the edits I made to his submission. He sent me 3491 words that I condensed after dozing off a few times. If you have any memories of being terrified by an old preacher, then you can identify with my friend, Virgil Creech – who is more than a little afraid of the Reverend Crane.

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Photo Credit: National Galleries of Scotland Commons from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK via Wikimedia Commons

Hurt By Church

January 26, 2014.Reading time 3 minutes.

I had an unusual conversation Friday night. A friend of mine (I’ll call him Redleg) and I were together with a man who was hurt by the church – and he’s not going back. He was very open about it and I found the dialogue very interesting. It sounded like he was very active in a large church at some point, but now he isn’t. In fact, his theology has totally changed to a “many roads lead to God” type of belief system, and he admittedly doesn’t care about eternity. At some point, he let it slip that it all hinged on how the church reacted to his divorce. A linchpin. He got hurt and that was it.

Nothing was solved. We listened and tried to encourage him before our time together was over. I’ve heard about people such as this, and quite frankly, I’ve been disillusioned by church over the past couple of years also. In fact, my family is winding down a year long search for a new place of worship. So I could totally sympathize with his resentment toward how he was treated. But whatever happened caused him to abandon his faith and that makes me sad.

The thing I’m still wondering about happened after he had left though. Redleg and I honed in on two totally different aspects of the man’s dilemma. I lamented how the church reacted while Redleg felt as though the man was running from truth. I know the Bible is firmly against divorce, as am I. I further know that we need to speak truth and be a light to those around us. But I couldn’t help think that if the confrontation had been handled in love, this man might not be floundering in his faith.

Somehow, truth and love have to coexist. Is the modern church doomed if they can’t? Redleg is a “truther”, and I’m a “lover” – and we are still friends. We admittedly don’t know the entire circumstance that brought this man to where his is, but isn’t it odd how two believers went totally different directions in response to it?