Redneck Solutions, LLC

Do you have issues?

We can help.

Few problems can’t be solved with the proper application of brute force and dubious ingenuity. If you don’t have what it takes to rig a job, call us. We’ll be there on time – every time.

Microwave won’t work? We’ll heat your supper with hair-dryers.

Muffler damage? Been patching them with Coke cans for years.

Shower head leaking? Duct tape will stop it.

We are ready to take on any emergency with quick action and amazingly little thought. We are not licensed or insured and none of our work is guaranteed beyond one use. Actually we don’t promise anything even for one use but we will hold your beer and watch while you try it out. Warinty? Can’t spell it, chew it, or drink it so it don’t exist!

Here’s a testimonial from our latest client:

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A Simple Coat of Paint

A $30 can of paint is a really a can of infinite possibilities. When you choose a color it can be any of a thousand beautiful options with exotic names that seem to have little relevance to their actual shade. Since our budget has never been huge, I learned early on that you can soothe your wife’s desire for change all for the cost of a gallon or two of paint. Better she change out the wall color than me!

“Old Reliable” – my tired, well-worn brush testifies that I’ve painted every wall in our house at least once. It also decries its hatred of wallpaper.

The walls of hell are covered in wallpaper because it is an invention and tool of Satan, himself. Just behind infidelity, I am sure wallpaper is the number two reason for divorce in our country. Yes, wallpaper is the irreconcilable difference. In our starter home, our master bath had thirteen foot walls so crooked they looked like they were constructed by a crew of drunk chimpanzees. My lovely wife chose wallpaper for it. I blame this on inexperience not maliciousness – but do you know what style she chose? Wide, vertical, stripes! So dopey me gets the supplies and spends days pasting, fuming, and screaming (I’ll not quote myself here). I am surprised I didn’t do permanent damage to myself or my marriage. There came a moment in the struggle to hang a particularly long piece when I made this supplication to God: Read More