Redneck Solutions, LLC

Do you have issues?

We can help.

Few problems can’t be solved with the proper application of brute force and dubious ingenuity. If you don’t have what it takes to rig a job, call us. We’ll be there on time – every time.

Microwave won’t work? We’ll heat your supper with hair-dryers.

Muffler damage? Been patching them with Coke cans for years.

Shower head leaking? Duct tape will stop it.

We are ready to take on any emergency with quick action and amazingly little thought. We are not licensed or insured and none of our work is guaranteed beyond one use. Actually we don’t promise anything even for one use but we will hold your beer and watch while you try it out. Warinty? Can’t spell it, chew it, or drink it so it don’t exist!

Here’s a testimonial from our latest client:

“I was carryin’ My family to vacation last Saturday. When I went to put the luggage box on mamma’s van, I couldn’t find the key! Now we roll to the beach like Jethro and the Clampetts, so I was figurin’ I was gonna hafta hitch up a trailer for all our stuff. But I called Redneck Solutions instead, and they took care of the problem. They didn’t waste no time with the lock, they just got out a big saw and cut that dern thing right off. We loaded it up, strapped it with a tie down from my pickup, and drove down to the beach in redneck style. Thanks Redneck Solutions!”

-Mark Myers*, Portsong, Georgia

 

Every technician from Redneck Solutions is lightly trained in almost nothing, but bold and eager to help because they’ve got nothing better to do. They arrive with their toolbox filled with supplies to conquer your problem: Plyers, hammer, blow torch, shotgun, tin snips, duct tape, chainsaw, sawzall, bigger hammer, lengths of chain, light explosives, old tires, bolt cutter, a sledge hammer, and other unique sundries.

We even offer our Valentines package in case your problem is of the emotional variety: there is no heartbreak a box of Kleenex, some cherry bombs, and a cold six-pack of PBR can’t solve.

So call now. Operators are standing by (until we make office chairs out of tree stumps and old toilet seats for them.)

Redneck Solutions – One call and your problem is either fixed or multiplied into a bunch of new problems.

*Not only a client, but the Founder & Chief Redneck

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