Style-ish

August 25, 2016.Reading time 5 minutes.

There was a brief window of time when I considered myself stylish. I tried to match up to the men on TV although I could never muster that perfect quaff of hair. No matter how much product promising ultimate waves I used, my hair just lay there disappointingly flat. But clothes – well, I can buy clothes.

Somewhere along the line though, one’s cheapness intersects with the price of the fashion icon he is trying to emulate. When I was young and carefree my intersection point had a higher limit. Then I got married, had children, and was forced to adopt a budget. Even at my highest level, I never had a Ralph Lauren goal. He is too far up the scale. I aspired to reach that Samuel L. Jackson “look good in anything” vibe but settled in somewhere around Jerry Lewis.

Now I flat out don’t care. If I like it and the price is right, I buy it. I don’t believe in recreational shopping. I have to need something before I shop. Seven work shirts worn in the proper order are enough because no one remembers what you wore a week and a half ago. My eye for matching clothes died along with my hearing.

I also think my love of tie-dye lead to the demise of my ability to tell what goes with what. At some point, that random mix of colors flows off the shirts and into every fashion decision. Now tie-dye is more of a style philosophy than just a hippie shirt I own. I have become style-ish instead of stylish.

My oldest daughter gave me sage fashion advice before she left for school:

Dad, if you think it is a good idea, then don’t.

My Thigh Gap

June 29, 2016.Reading time 5 minutes.

I’m not hip to most things, nor do I want to be. I think it is fairly comical to see a parent trying to stay trendy and blend in with their teenagers. That is a losing proposition. No, I’m the old fart who doesn’t get it, and is relatively unconcerned about the “it” I don’t get. My favorite sayings are quickly becoming:

“Get a haircut, hippie!”

“Take a bath!”

“Who let them out of the house in their underwear, put some clothes on!”

“Get off my lawn!”

I’ve tried to understand the world around me but it is a hopeless endeavor. Things move too fast and I’ve gotten slower.

I was privy to some young mens’ water cooler discussion lately and perked up because they were talking about the NBA draft. I’m not a huge basketball fan anymore. But just like my city, if the Hawks get good, I’ll pay attention. I didn’t know most of the players the guys mentioned and they seemed generally dissatisfied with the results. Since I couldn’t really participate, I started to leave when the conversation turned to something called a “thigh gap”. I’ve never heard of such a thing. My interest was piqued. What is this thigh gap, you ask? Evidently, this is a new standard measurement of attractiveness. Read More