If, by the title, you are expecting to read a philosophical debate about the origin of man, you have come to the wrong place, my friend. Portsong isn’t that deep and neither am I. Being somewhat near the ocean, one cannot dig in our fair town without hitting marshy, useless saltwater. Likewise, if you dig into me, all you get is blank stares, a shrug of the shoulders, and an incoherent grunt or two.
I do like blogging, though. It’s freeform nature resonates with me. If someone stood over me and gave me specifics (AKA – school), my pen would quickly run dry. With my blog, I can do whatever I darn well please. Sometimes what I write strikes a chord with people and sometimes a piece stands on an island of loneliness – a masterpiece waiting to be read and appreciated (or not).
I don’t obsess with stats, but I have my favorite thing to check. I like seeing where people come from in the world and how they got here. Many times, the only listing is “unknown search terms”. But every once in a glorious while, I get to see what people Googled to get here… and I laugh at them.
It’s all in the title.
ob·fus·cate [ob-fuh-skeyt, ob-fuhs-keyt] verb (used with object)
- to confuse, bewilder, or stupefy.
- to make obscure or unclear: to obfuscate a problem with extraneous information.
Everything in red is exactly as typed (misspellings and all)
Take for instance some poor kid doing a report on the civil war. He typed: colonel and from yhe south and got to a post about Colonel Birdwhistle from my books.
One kid wanted to know if andrew jackson electable today and found out that I think Andrew Jackson was a presidential man’s man.
Women still Google Tom Selleck: did tom selleck have curly hair & are there a lot of women who don’t like tom selleck? I wonder what they thought about: Tom Selleck owes me an Apology.
Here are some other funnies:
you like a pirate He’s a Pirate
thou shalt now curse Thou Shalt Not Curse at Missionaries
what dogs get fined when they get runned over A story of my dog, Winston
leggings via brazil Prospector Dances & Brazilians in Leggings
stuff under sink at hospital Hospital 101 for the Incurably Immature
what is irony ice cream Irony & Ice Cream
I find this one alarming: touching sleeping teen. If their intent was bad, I hope Don’t Poke a Sleeping Teen pacified them.
I have no idea where this person went: meat loaf progeny
By far, my two favorite were these:
This is one search, so I don’t know why the phrases were paired together:
“job physical” “prostate exam” Either way, I’m sure he enjoyed Shaking Hands with your Urologist
And the chef d’oeuvre! A real gem! The Magnum Opus!
Yes someone got to my blog by typing:
Although he hasn’t found the space bar, I feel like Can You Fart at Cotillion was written just for him.
I don’t know, I just like coming up witty titles.
Photo Credit: Michael Keen
8 thoughts on “How Did We Get Here?”
hilarious, mark. it really gives you pause, doesn’t it? kind of a little snapshot into people’s minds, isn’t it? ) like you, i enjoy the freedom of form and style that blogging brings, and if i were restricted and regulated, it would soon stop, i know myself well enough to know that.
Yes! My gibberish is mine – and the few demented souls who read it.
That wonderful butterfly brain!! Truly gifted! Thank you yet another outburst of fun and frolics!! 🙂
This one is all on the misguided folks who made it here by accident!
You never disappoint, Mark!
Thanks Mike. I’m guessing some of these lucky googlers were disappointed…
That’s just downright hilarious. Sadly, the “youfart” person could easily have been attempting the word “yogurt”…in which case, your post was a nice detour on a jaunt to TCBY or it aided in the person’s analysis of the probiotic properties in a container of fruit-on-the-bottom Yoplait. Especially due to the powerful digestive enzymes in yogurt and its subsequent flatulence. So see? Space bar mishap or dreadful misspelling. Either way, that person was entertained, Mark! 🙂
If you try to type yogurt and you get yourfart, you really deserve whatever google sends you… 😀