Glaring Weakness is my Strength

October 28, 2015.Reading time 6 minutes.

I spent the weekend at my college homecoming with the friends of my youth. We were young bucks together – brothers, champions on fields and in the ladies’ hearts. True legends of the university, soon to conquer the world. At least that’s how we remember it.

Back then, the talk was of girls, sports, parties, and well… girls. This time we mostly talked of the good old days, recent medical procedures, new aches, chronic pains, and family. Our waists are bigger and our hairlines have shifted. Every one of us is slower but wiser. I found it hysterical to go to dinner in this college town when no one had to mooch because we actually have money.

It was so good to see these guys. They have faithfully followed my family’s journey through cancer and the loss of Kylie and been a great source of encouragement to me. I needed this weekend to thank them, hug them, be with them and reconnect. This is the first time I’ve been able to go. Life got in the way for far too long. Read More

Workers of the World UNITE!

October 21, 2015.Reading time 3 minutes.

I never understood the purpose for labor unions. I always thought they were mainly the reason for inflated car prices and jobs moving overseas. I’ve seen several movies about them where they are portrayed as corrupt fronts for mafia crime. Who needs that? The internet seems to agree with their general seediness – so it has to be true.

Okay, I do see the historical need for child labor laws and protection for workers in dangerous industries such as mining and longshoremen. I have no idea what a longshoreman is, but I want to be one because would be awesome on a business card:

Mark Myers
Longshoreman

But seriously, bakers need a union?

While we’re at it, check these out:

The International Union of Allied Novelty and Production Workers (protecting against heinous rubber chicken incidents since 1957)

Jockey’s Guild (working hard in the fight against hemorrhoids and saddle sores)

Programmers Guild (mostly an online dating site for COBOL users – like Ashley Madison, all they need is a few women.)

Don’t even get me started with pro sports unions! Seriously? Those pampered athletes have no clue what the working class goes through (unless you weigh over 250 and can bench press much more than that – then you know everything, sir and I apologize for disparaging your very necessary collective bargaining organization.)

I didn’t think there was a reason for organized labor until today. Now I know. I have been trod upon by big business and I’m not going to take it any longer. I am calling for an all-out strike of my industry. No longer will we accept adverse working conditions and subhuman treatment. We won’t be subjected to an unproductive environment that demeans our very existence. For too long we have moiled and toiled, sweated blood, and sold our souls for the common good of no one other than The Man. It is time for a change.