Tom Selleck Owes Me an Apology

March 13, 2014.Reading time 4 minutes.

Tom Selleck owes me an apology. Anyone my age knows the unobtainable standard he set for a teenage boy just coming into maturity. Why, do you ask, am I seeking contrition from him?

Good looks? No.

Suave disposition? No.

All the ladies? No…well maybe.

I’m talking about the hair…his stinking perfect hair.

When all of the girls had a picture of the Magnum PI in mind, how could any of us real boys measure up? Curly coiffure, bushy mustache, chest hair, leg hair… There it is! Leg hair. Recently, smooth has become stylish and I would have been perfect for this new generation. But that isn’t my generation. When I was in high school and college, the girls wanted hair and lots of it. Hair I didn’t have. Well, that’s not absolutely true. Science should study my leg hair because it is translucent like that of a polar bear. It’s there, just not to the naked eye. It only shows up if I have a deep tan, which is near impossible for someone of Swedish/Germanic descent. Undaunted, I went to the pool, laid out, and held my legs just right so that passing females might possibly get the proper angle to spot a few strands.

As a freshman in college, I went so far as to purchase a tanning package. I donned little glasses and laid on top of the plastic surface to bake. And bake I did. Remember the shorts Magnum used to wear? Not long like they are today, 80’s shorts came way up on the thigh. Hoping my tan would expose leg hair from the top of my leg to my toes, I even pulled them up higher. Oh yeah, I got burned in very sensitive areas. It hurt for weeks and didn’t help my hair stand out whatsoever.

We all have physical characteristics we would rather minimize or hide completely. Just the other day, I was talking with a friend who told me her 10 year-old daughter E had been called fat by another girl. My heart sank. Her sweet little girl is now self-conscious about something as irrelevant as my smooth legs. She is active and isn’t overweight in the least, but also isn’t waif-thin like so many women our society seems to put on a pedestal. Such a tragedy.

I want so much for her and other little girls to see what truly matters about themselves instead of what is fleeting.

Your beauty should not consist of outward things … Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes.

1 Peter 3:3-4

That’s what is important. I hope my daughters know that. I pray little E learns that too. We have to tell them they are beautiful and keep on telling them until they understand. That’s how God sees them.

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So Tom, whenever you are ready, it has taken 25 years, but I am finally over your provocation and prepared to accept your apology. It’s been a long time coming.

Photo credit to Alan Light

Seeing Lovely

January 9, 2014.Reading time 3 minutes.

The oddest thing happened. My wife put this picture of our family that had been taken on Christmas Eve up on ‘TheFacebook’ and it got over 100 likes.I realize that’s not odd. People are typically nice and will like anything that scrolls along their wall. What I found odd were some of the comments about how one child looked exactly like me, another looked like my wife, and this one is so tall, etc. I found myself scrutinizing the photograph like an FBI criminologist to see if what they said was right. Turns out, some were. How has it escaped me that my youngest looks like my wife? Or her sister’s smile is just like mine? The oldest two used to resemble us, but don’t so much anymore. I think that’s new, isn’t it? I see these people every day – how am I missing these details? What else am I neglecting to see?

Also strange was the number of times a picture including me was described as beautiful, gorgeous, or lovely. I’ve long given up on being beautiful, and I’m okay with it. I’d honestly rather be “rugged”, or “dashing” or something else that sounds equally outdoorsy and masculine. Okay, so I do know that I’m blessed to be standing between a beautiful wife and four equally beautiful daughters. A thorn among roses, as it were. The comments were for them and me by association. I get that. But do I miss even that sometimes? Like I said, I see them every day – the highlight reel and behind-the-scenes looks. Am I so dense as to miss such beauty God has put in my life?

But we all miss it sometimes, don’t we?

I had to snap this picture of the blood-red sky on the ride in to work a few weeks ago. Gorgeous, unique, stunning. But is the crystal blue sky I see every other day any less beautiful?

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8

I enjoy the flow of the verse and maybe too often miss the instruction. Think… Think on these things. Don’t just let them happen around me. God has placed lovely things all around you and me. When all I can see is base, unjust, and ugly, I will choose to think on lovely things. Oh, and I’ll look at my girls more too!