Divorcing My Friends

My family has always loved going to the zoo. When the kids were young, we would break up long drives by leaving early, routing to a zoo somewhere in the midpoint of the trip, and then wearing them out watching animals so they would sleep for the remainder of the drive. It always seemed to work. The only problem with this practice was that our trips were usually in the summer and the afternoon car always had a rather pungent odor after we toddled around in the sun.

There were trips when we took more pictures and videos at the amusement stops than we actually did when we arrived at our destination because the kids love animals so much. One often sees odd behavior and sometimes a dalliance or two that must be explained to an inquisitive child. Of course, I relished these opportunities and gave it my creative best. From me they learned the finer points of turtle wrestling and why an elephant can have two trunks.

Once in a while, a golden moment happens and you notice that your child is sitting in front of something that is fairly comical. SNAP – picture that! Read More

Curse this Dreaded Black Thumb

Spring seems to have found us here in Georgia this weekend. While it is a simple fact that God smiles on The South sooner than the northern regions, I hold no illusions that spring is here for good. But yesterday found me in shorts cleaning up the yard. We live on a couple of wooded acres and green is beginning to peek through the gloomy brown – in my neighbor’s yard. I however was cursed with a dreaded black thumb. I follow some photography blogs displaying the most beautiful flowers from tropical locations, so I thought I would give you my best effort.

imageThese are my gardenias. Are implies a current state of being, so I suppose I should say these were my gardenias. I don’t know what happened to them, they just shriveled up and turned brown like everything else I put in the ground. Our once vibrant hydrangeas look more like flaking twigs than actual plants. My grass – brown in every season unless you include moss and weeds. Every time I go to the orange store, I tell my friend Lou the dilemma and he recommends a plant that can’t be killed. I used to take them back with their return policy, but I’ve become embarrassed to do so anymore.

You know how God builds a perfect union from two dissimilar parts? One member of the marriage might be outgoing and the other shy, or one might be cognitive while the other is emotional. Then they join together like pieces of a puzzle and complete each other perfectly (sorry for the cheesy Jerry Maguire reference, but while I’m at it, enjoy…)

In a cruel twist of fate for botanists everywhere, my lovely bride has a matching black thumb. Potted plants seem to be a popular thank you gift here and she’s received a number of them over the years. All we have left is a bunch of pots filled with what I call soil of death. She kills indoor plants while I slay the jungle outside. Nothing is safe in our homestead. Thank you, God that we have a supermarket and don’t rely on subsistence farming. We’d all starve for sure.

So while my friends up north are mired in snow, we are seeing the sun in our little slice of heaven. Maybe it likes us because we don’t need it for photosynthesis. I don’t know, I just like wearing shorts again.