It’s an odd thing to accept that your daughter’s boyfriend isn’t going away. No, we even got him a Christmas present this year. He’s a fixture. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good kid and treats her very well. It’s just that I used to be a part of her profile picture and now it’s the two of them. Instead of Daddy the Great, I’m the old guy who barks at them to keep it down at midnight. The transition was sudden.
I knew it had to happen, and I’m actually glad it did. I want all of my girls to grow up and be independent. After all, I have big plans for their rooms when they go. Each will be a strategic part of what I have deemed The Naked Corridor. I figure I will be able to shift locations for weeks without the Crazy Pants Lady trying to cover me up. But I digress.
Odder than her having the boyfriend is that I have now actually given him relationship advice on how to keep my daughter happy. All 20 year-old boys are clueless sometimes (Heck, so are 47 year-olds). He often reminds me of another boy who dipped his toe into several very short relationship pools until he figured out that one must consider how his actions affect the other swimmer before he acts.
That’s the key isn’t it? If you want to have a healthy relationship of any kind, you have to consider how every nuance of what you are doing or intend to do will affect the other participant until at some point, that consideration becomes automatic. Oh, I’m not perfect. Just ask LW – she would laugh and tell you many stories of times I have subverted and nearly destroyed our relationship. Twenty-two years of marriage is a testament to her patience, not my consideration. Still, I try.
And so, I gave the young pup my number one tip on making a relationship work. Gather round boys and listen. Here it is. A Pearl of Wisdom sought after by lonely sailors and bachelors for centuries. You all ready? Put the toilet seat down.
That’s it. It’s so easy, but it is the absolute key to happiness.
You scoff, but think about it. We men navigate life with barely a rational thought in our mind. We get accustomed to routine and tend to expect the world to mold into our flow. As stated before and confirmed by years of experimentation in selfishness, that type of thinking doesn’t work in a relationship with the fairer sex. Sick of cleaning up our mess, our mothers drilled into our heads for years the need to lift the lid until it became routine. We even did it in our sleep (most of the time). When we learn to put the seat back down for the lady who may follow us into the bathroom, we have ceased being senseless drones and started thinking about someone else.
I submit that putting the toilet seat down is the first step toward a life of consideration.
So I told him. Not in a mean way, just in a “You’ll be better off” kind of way. I don’t know if he is permanent. Only time will tell. I like him enough to invest a little bit here and there. He’ll do better with my daughter or future women when he takes to heart this lesson I’ve so graciously bestowed. Plus, if my butt gets wet one more time, I just might have to wring his neck!
A Generous Helping 
Mark – you are beautiful! Hooked, reeled and netted – and then skewered in that last sentence! Brilliant!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Oh Paul, sometimes you are a gullible fish, my friend.
🙂
More often than I care to admit!! 🙂
There is only one way to achieve marital bliss: his and hers bathrooms and you probably will not see that until the kids are out of the house. There is only one room in the house where I am not allowed to go and there is only one room in the house that my wife refuses to go.
And probably only one room you are dying to get into…
More like the one room I’d die if I got in. But you are right, girl germs and all that. Yukky!
Great post. You are a cool dad 🙂
Please check out my blog. Maybe you can offer some advice. https://hoplesslyromanticcinderella.wordpress.com/2015/01/27/working-on-me/
LMBO!!! Put the seat down? Ok yeah I can see that one. I’m more of a put the clothes in the hamper not next to the hamper 🙂 Say hello to Miss K for me.
Oh, the hamper is secondary… It doesn’t directly affect things the same way. Will say hello to the little one…
what an excellent lesson, professor.
Oh Mr. Mark…How You Make Me Giggle Out Loud When I Read Your Blog. 🙂 I Have That Son Who Has Learned To Lift The Lid And Put It Back Down Again…..Most Of The Time!! 🙂 Even Though We Do Have The His And Hers Bathroom…”S” Is Usually Too Lazy To Go Upstairs And Use The HIS Bathroom. 😦
Recently “S” Decided To Try To Leave The Seat up Every Time He Used The Bathroom, And I Told Him Like 5 Times In One Day To “PLEASE PUT THE SEAT DOWN”…He Came Up With A Remark That I Had Never Heard And Never Even Gave Thought To. My 19 Yr Old Son “S” Said To Me, “I’ll Put The Seat Down For You When You Start Leaving It Up For Me”. He Thought He Was Quite The Clever And Witty Young Man, And I Was Not About To Tell Him That I Actually Thought What He Said Was Funny, And Yet Made Sense…For An Actual Minute. But I Could Tell By The Way He Looked At Me After He Said It…That He Knew, That Was Not Going To Fly. So We Are Now In A Battle About Twice A Week To Get Him To Put The Seat Back Down When He Walks Out Of The Bathroom. 😦
Pick And Choose My Battles, Is What My Mother Always Taught Me. So I Am Choosing This One Because I Don’t Ask Much Of “S”…So This Is the One Thing He Can Give Me. He Knows It’s Not Just About Making Mom Happy. “S” Knows That One Day It Will Come Down To, “Happy Wife Happy Life”. It’s Just That Simple….I Rest My Case Governor!!! 🙂 🙂 Give A Gentle Squeeze To Princess 🙂 K Please!! :).
Glad it gave you a giggle…
You should have a “love it” button. Priceless!
Thank you! A comment works.