The Release of Missing Kylie

I am excited to announce the April 9th release of Missing Kylie!

What is it, you ask?

Missing Kylie is a compilation of my writing from Kylie’s diagnosis to the first anniversary of her death. Like everything I write, I have tried to mix laughter together with the heartache of cancer treatment and losing a child. You’ll smile some, cry more – and most importantly, I believe you will feel something while reading it. And despite what my macho side has told me all of these years, feelings are good.

The book contains short chapters, many of which started as blog posts, and it is divided into three sections: The Struggle, The Loss, and The Search for Meaning. Although it is organized chronologically, it is less a history of treatment and more a tango with God as I try to maintain my faith through the hardest two years any parent could imagine.

While we struggled through her treatment, I believed without a doubt that she would be completely healed and become a living testimony to God’s faithfulness and goodness. That hope can be sensed in my writing and, quite honestly, compiling and editing it made me feel somewhat foolish in light of the end result. On her last day here on earth, I remember being on my knees in our basement with her life ebbing away above me, crying and begging God to change direction or take me instead, believing with certainty that He could do either. But that’s not the ending He chose. When I asked Him to heal her, God said no.

Losing Kylie was a devastating blow in so many ways. It is hard to reconcile the sovereign God that I have served all of my adult life with the pain of this loss. It simply isn’t fair. Her loss leaves so many questions and doubts that have me stumbling through the wilderness without foreseeable direction. Yet as I navigate this wilderness of no, I have seen God’s fingerprints constantly coating my life and the lives of my wife and children.

I don’t have answers. Through my search for meaning in this experience, I have found that sometimes faith requires submission without them, and that is the hardest kind of faith. Though I feel the pain of her loss every day, I still believe in a loving God who chose a path I will never understand.

If you have followed her story and read my blog throughout, you might wonder if you’ve already read everything contained inside of Missing Kylie. You haven’t. There are several things in the book that I wrote during the journey, but wasn’t emotionally ready to release until now. There is also a beautiful letter Kylie wrote to a friend just before she died. That treasure was given to us weeks after her death and it shows her uncanny maturity and faith.


full book


The goal of Missing Kylie is threefold:

  1.  To reach a wider audience with Kylie’s story.
  2.  To share my messy faith to hurting people in a genuine and authentic manner.
  3.  To raise money and awareness for safer and more effective treatments for childhood cancer.


I see this book as a launching point to the ultimate book I would like to write about Kylie’s ability to steal joy back from the terrible situation she was forced to endure. I believe that could be a great source of encouragement to many people.

I selected April 9th  as the release date because it is the second anniversary of Kylie’s diagnosis with cancer. In light of that:

Proceeds from the sale of this book will be used to fight childhood cancer in memory of my baby girl.


Upon its release, I will publish a link to




43 thoughts on “The Release of Missing Kylie

  1. Even in our worst pain can we glorify the Lord! This is probably the rawest account of faith that I have read in a long time. Proof that the stupid devil can’t rob us of our joy, even in our darkest hours there is always a testimony and victories to be had. You tell your story with such love. Your beautiful Angel will not only always be a part of your life but ours too!

    1. Thank you, Sheila. It’s been a long road and continues to be a struggle. But I know others have the same faith challenges and maybe they will know that they aren’t alone.

  2. So proud of you. I am sure it will accomplish all of your goals and more. And I am sure it helped in healing at least a tiny piece of your broken heart.

  3. Good on You Kylie’s Dad. I know your name is Mark of course, but I guess you won’t mind this title of yours 🙂
    I still like to write Tamzin’s mum (‘mom’) instead of Kriss sometimes.
    I will look forward to buying a copy when your book is released. Your lovely family have all done so well & so fast. She has given you all alot of her energy hasn’t she.
    Thank you for putting your writings about ‘Missing Kylie’ all together so soon. I know this will help many people.
    With True Gratitude,
    Kriss (Tamzin’s Mum)

    1. It’s been two years since my daughter Leah died and at work yesterday a stranger unashamedly asked me “Are you Leah’s mummy?” I smiled and said yes. It felt so good to be called “Leah’s mummy” again as its been a while.

  4. You are an excellent writer, Mark. Kylie has been such an inspiration to me. I look toward to reading your book. Thank you for sharing Kylie with me.

  5. Your faith is amazing. Exactly what Christianity is to exemplify. My children attend Perimeter.. Last year was our first year (pre-first). Our daughter is now attending too (kindergarten). They know about Kiley and have such a sweet desire to acknowledge her. I went through breast cancer in 2013 and know that had an impact on them as well. Thank you for sharing your journey. It brings so much love and hope and strength to others. My husband and I cannot imagine what you and your family are feeling and dealing with . You are in our prayers❤️

    1. Thank you Cindy. We love PCS and miss our Perimeter family so much. All of our children were blessed to be there. Kylie loved everything about that place. I appreciate your kind words and pray that our story can encourage others, as well.

  6. I will read your book in the hope yo better empathise a journey a friend is on and has been on for four years with their daughter who has just relapsed with an undiagnosable condition that the doctors are now refuting to treat without having full and complete control over their daughter … I sense they want her as a Guinea pig … There are only 3 that they know of with this world wide. I struggle to know how to walk with them and just listen pray and encourage them to not give up but the journey thus far has been so very cruel.
    Thank you for reading my blog. Funny – I sense I’ll get more from your one like than you will ever get from reading my blog!
    That being said we have seen miracles … But we have also seen and walked with those that have struggled and still struggle. There are no answers I know of … Just a hug, a cup of tea, an ear to listen, and a desperate holding into one fact that regardless God is Good!
    Bless you.

    1. There are no answers. You have the absolute right way to approach your role in their journey, love and presence. I’ve learned a great deal over the past two years about how I wanted to be treated and how to treat others in traumatic situations. That said, I truly believe in miracles and will pray that your friend finds one for their daughter. Can you tell me her name? If not, I understand.

      1. Her name is Lily.
        The family is a beautiful light (really!). The pain is palpable right now due to the sudden relapse, and my friend sobbed when she heard we were leaving our church that we introduced them to over five years ago … but they live around the corner, and they are family to us and I reminded her of this…
        There is a legal battle too – doctors seem to want to experiment … and there has possibly been medical negligence (I used to practice as a lawyer in medical negligence) … thankfully they have a good lawyer. Treatments are being refused unless they hand her over.
        We are praying that God would shine His light on all that needs to be revealed to the family, the lawyers, and the doctors, and that He would continue to shine His light on all that which needs to be exposed until it is seen and acted upon according to His will in Jesus name. We are praying for the right specialists to step up and be willing to act with integrity. We are praying for finances. We are praying for the legal team (and healing for the lawyer too). And most of all we are praying for a deep peace and a deep healing of all concerned and involved … including Lily.
        Oh … and we are also praying for the salvation of those doctors that see this case as an opportunity for self glorification … a deep deep seated life transforming Saul to Paul conversion for the entire medical team.
        Bless you.
        I am happy to communicate more privately, but hesitate on an open forum.

      2. ok – I have ordered a hard copy … sooo expensive getting it to Australia … but a hard copy I can at least lend to people 🙂
        I look forward to reading … going the journey with you and yours!

  7. I lost my daughter to cancer it’s the worst thing anyone can go through. It was a lovely thing you done in your daughters memory and well done for doing it. I yet to read your book and im sure i will get something out of it.

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